The January Breakfast Date: Help Your Child Start The Year with Purpose

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Every year after the dust settles from holiday hubbub, I plan a time to take each of my kids out to a January breakfast date for a one-on-one planning session. We use this time to reflect on the past year, sharing highlights and celebrating achievements, while also identifying goals and plans for the year ahead.
This can be done at any time of year, of course, but January always feels like a good time to take stock of the previous year and map out the year ahead.
Benefits of the January breakfast date
Establishing a rhythm of these annual goal-setting meetings carries several benefits:
- Individualized attention: It feels special to my kids. One-on-one time, especially in the form of an official outing, can be a rarity in family life. Setting aside time with each kid allows me to focus on them in a special way, and it’s fun to see them soak up the attention.
- Something to look forward to: Family life can feel busy, especially during the holidays. This one-on-one time in January gives them something to anticipate beyond the holiday season. It’s a January tradition they have come to value and look forward to.
- Purposeful direction: Taking the time to discuss their goals and put them down on paper provides purpose and direction to my children’s days, weeks, months, and year. Instead of waltzing aimlessly through their year, they have goals to pursue, skills to acquire, and talents to sharpen.
- Customized encouragement: Engaging my kids in purposeful discussion of their highlights, accomplishments, relationships, skills, and desires gives me insight into their unique context. It helps me identify their strengths and weaknesses so that I can then encourage and support them accordingly.
Does this sound like a tradition you’d like to establish in your family? Here are some ideas, examples, and tips to help you get started.
Step One: plan your January breakfast date
Plan a time to take your child to breakfast, lunch, dinner, coffee, or whatever works best for your family. Put it on the calendar! Each child gets their own one-on-one date. Let them choose the place or choose from options you provide.
If this is the first such meeting with your child, keep the description casual. Let them know you want to take them out for a one-on-one planning meeting to think over the past year and look ahead to the new year.
I like to bring a special notebook where I record notes each year from our January breakfast dates. Don’t forget to bring a pen! Alternatively, you can record notes on a device like your phone, iPad, or a laptop, but I find that taking notes on paper, with a pen, lends a certain officiality to our January breakfast dates.
Step Two: conduct your January breakfast date
When you arrive at the restaurant, keep conversation light but intentional.
1. Review highlights of the past year. Write them down.
- What were your favorite parts of the year?
- Favorite trips?
- Favorite events?
- Accomplishments you’re proud of?
- Relational memories?
- Something from the year that you always want to remember?
2. Review last year’s goals. Mark according to completion:
- (✔+) – Completed
- (✔) – Partially completed
- (X) – Not completed
3. Discuss goals for the year ahead. Write them down and make goals as specific as possible.
Every child is unique, but here are a few categories to consider:
- Music
- Art
- Reading
- Bible/Spiritual
- Fitness
- Enterprise
- Skills
- Outdoors
See my free printable guide below for examples from my kids.
Step three: after the January breakfast date
Later, at home, type up your child’s goals and print them out. Post them in one or more spots agreed upon by you and your child, so that both of you can see the list on a regular basis.
Seeing their lists regularly will help your kids spend their time more purposefully. It also helps you remember to support and encourage them towards the goals they’ve set.
Tips for a successful January breakfast date
- Break the ice: Instead of launching directly into goal setting, start out with regular conversation. Catch up on their day, their week, etc.
- Write it down: Bring a notebook, and get it out when the time is right to begin the more formalized discussion. Take notes. List their highlights from the previous year. Mark their goals from the previous year according to completion. Write down their goals for this year.
- Cheer them on: Celebrate their wins or accomplishments, congratulating them sincerely. Don’t flatter.
- “You set the goal of ___ and you did it! Wow.”
- “It must feel really good to know you met the goal of ___.”
- “How does it feel to look back and know that you did ____?”
- Don’t throw shade: Don’t shame them for unmet goals from last year. Keep the discussion matter of fact and ask if it’s a goal they’d like to carry over into the next year, or if it’s something they decided to abandon with good cause. Help them decide, then move on.
- Keep it casual: Keep conversation casual, but intentional. Try to keep a conversational tone instead of making it an interview or grilling them with questions.
- Let them drive: Don’t force goals on your child. Allow them to set their own goals.
- Ask, don’t tell: Ask guiding questions and encourage them to expand on their thoughts. Make suggestions when appropriate but try to pose them as questions.
- Remember the goal: Keep in mind that the goal is to help provide structure and purpose to your child’s days, weeks, months, and year. No one is looking over your shoulder to “grade” you or your child. You won’t submit these goals to a higher authority or review board. They are simply a tool for helping your child to think strategically and to use their time well.
Example goals
Do not show these to your kids! I provide them here as a reference in case this concept feels new to you.
Your child will have their own unique areas of interest. Your family likely has values, goals, and a context that differs from that of mine. The following examples are just that: examples to get your creative juices flowing.
Get example goals, along with a printable set of January breakfast date steps and tips:
Free Download: January Breakfast Date Guide
Use this printable guide to plan a January Breakfast Date that will help your child start the year with purpose.
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