I See You: Taking the Time to Notice

• Save

Today’s post has absolutely nothing to do with Real Food, Essential Oils or Nature for Kids.  It’s just something that’s been on my heart lately and I’d like to share it with you…

I See You

Recently, I read an encouraging article on the topic of cultivating community as a mother, as a woman. A particular phrase from this author really struck me, and has stayed with me ever since.

Is there enough margin in your days to give to nurturing relationships? This is not a hard thing. A quick phone call, an email, a handwritten letter, a Starbucks drop off, a meal, all of these things go a long way into nurturing relationships within your community. They speak to someone “I see you.” And isn’t that what we all hunger for?

Did you catch it?

I see you.

Each of us does indeed hunger to be seen. To be noticed. Valued. Understood. Appreciated.

• Save

Can I Get a Witness?

This concept tends to surface in my relationship with Mr. Native Texan. From time to time we have a recurring conversation that runs along these lines…

You’re mad at me. Why?
I’m not mad at you; I just feel completely disconnected.
Why do you feel disconnected? What would help?
I’m feeling really stressed about ______.  OR ______ has been bothering me.
I didn’t know!
That’s part of the problem—you didn’t notice!
Well, how can I help?

And you know what? Most of the time I’m not necessarily looking for an answer to the problem. Sometimes I am, but what I need most of all is for him to “see me.” To see what I’m going through.

It reminds me of what one character said about marriage in the movie Shall We Dance?

• Save

We need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet… I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things… all of it, all of the time, every day. You’re saying ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness’.”

I will be your witness. I will see you.

• Save

Do I See My Children?

And you know what else? That’s what our kids hunger for, too. They might not know it, or have the ability to articulate it, but they need for us to see them.

Sally Clarkson, one of my favorite mothering experts, beautifully explains that a child’s “hunger for love, affirmation, attention, and acceptance is a deep drive that will search for fulfillment until it finds it.” She points out that “As a mother, I have the ability to provide that love, acceptance and attention my children need to grow up secure and develop mature relationships.”

Her point, of course, is that this kind of mothering requires time and availability. She astutely observes that even stay-at-home moms can be “overly busy and emotionally unavailable” to their children.  [Source]

And so I must ask myself: Do I see my children?

• Save

Do I know them? Do I understand what makes them tick? Do I see their strengths and God-given talents, reminding them they were made in His image and created for good works? Do I take note of their flaws, with intentional prayers that God will refine my children and show them their need for a Savior? Do I stop to notice their accomplishments? Their joys? Their creations?

Do I pause often during our days together simply to look at my children? To look them in the eye and communicate I see you?

• Save

What about my husband—do I see him? Do I know him? His strengths, weaknesses, accomplishments, joys? Because—as with my children—if I don’t take the time to see these things, to see him, he may look for something or someone else who does.

One last thought, especially for those who may find themselves in a set of circumstances where they are the one hungering to be seen. May I encourage you—all of us—with a name of God?

The God Who Sees Me

Have you heard the story of Hagar?

She was the maidservant of Abram (Abraham)’s wife Sarai (Sarah), who fell victim to the couple’s desire to fulfill God’s promise by their own means. As a result, Hagar became pregnant with Abram’s son Ishmael. Later, when Sarah conceived Issac and he became the son of promise, Ishmael—along with his mother Hagar—became an outcast.

She ran away to the desert, taking her young son with her, fully believing they would die together in the wilderness with no one to care for them, no one to see what they were going through.

There in her despair, the God of the universe meets with her, encourages her and sends her back to face her difficult circumstances. And she obeys, strengthened by the fact that He saw her. It was Hagar who first used God’s name “El Roi—the God who sees me”.

Whatever our circumstances, when we’re tempted to feel alone, may we remember that El Roi, our Almighty God, sees us. He knows what we face and he strengthens us to endure.

And as El Roi sees and cares for us, so we too strive, by His grace, to see and care for those around us.

• Save

What can you do today, this week, to see your children, your husband, others around you? Is there anything you need to cut out in order to create time to truly see the precious people God has given you?

Sources and More Reading:

• Cultivating Community by Andrea Birch
• The Mission of Motherhood: Touching Your Child’s Heart for Eternity
  

  • Save
   by Sally Clarkson
• El Roi, God Who Sees {The Name of God Series from Precept Austin}

• Save