While scolding may not ruin a child, it’s certainly not the the most effective way to reach the hearts of my children.

In the attempt to replace scolding with more meaningful methods of communication, I’ve discovered a few alternatives that have worked well at our house.  I’m sharing them here, not as an expert who’s got it all figured out, but as one who is learning as she goes.

To catch up on this series, please read:

• Confessions of a Recovering Scolder
• 5 Effective Alternatives to Scolding: #1 Charming Quotes & Playful Vocabulary

Alternative #2: Inspirational Models

One of the many benefits of reading together is that wonderful literature provides countless examples for my children to follow (or not follow, as the case may be).

When it comes to my efforts to scold less and encourage more, I’ve found it helpful to remind the boys of positive examples, both from literature and real life.

The following are a few favorites we’ve used recently…

Example #1:  Work with all your might, like a busy beaver.

[W]hen it is time to work, I work every minute.  I believe in working with all my might when it is time to work, and playing the same way in play-time.”  –Paddy Beaver, in The Burgess Animal Book for Children by Thorton W. Burgess

The Burgess Animal Book for Children is one of Older Brother’s favorites from our homeschool reading list.  Little Brother often enjoys listening in on this one, too, and all of us were delighted by Paddy Beaver’s declaration, quoted above.

It’s a perfect example for the boys, and I often remind them to work with all their might like Paddy Beaver so they can play with all their might later.  Little Brother often remarks to me while doing his chores, “I’m a busy beaver!”

Example #2:  Laura & Mary Ingalls and Almanzo Wilder

Even though these two are girls, the rugged nature of the Little House stories has really appealed to Older Brother.  And of course there was the story of Almanzo Wilder in book #3–that was a favorite at our house.  We’ve slowly worked our way through the series and are currently reading book #5.

I just love the hard working examples set by the Ingalls and Wilder families, not only for my boys but for myself as well.  Ma Ingalls, anyone?  The children carry great responsibility in these books, and generally carry out those responsibilities with cheerfulness.

Every once in a while, I’ll remind Older Brother about the Ingalls girls’ cheerful, hard-working attitudes.  And sometimes we compare our chores to theirs: “Just think: if we were pioneers like the Ingalls, we’d have to draw our water from a well!”  Sometimes a little perspective helps to inspire cheerfulness. 🙂

Example #3:  Crossroads of Character

My boys have absolutely loved this book about character qualities.  The children in Crossroads of Character are real children from a real family, which I believe is part of the book’s appeal.  Read more about the book and other fantastic character training resources here: Giveaway: Crossroads of Character.

The stories in Crossroads of Character are just perfect for reminding my boys about certain character traits.

• Remember how Adam and Luke obeyed their grandfather, even when they thought he wasn’t looking?
• Remember how Cassidy cleaned up her room properly, even though she really wanted to go play outside?

I could go on and on with more examples, but I think you get the idea.  Hopefully this will get your own creative juices flowing as you consider the inspirational models that best apply to your family.

And the next time you catch yourself about to scold or nag a child, maybe it will help to remind them of an inspirational model instead.  It’s worked at our house!

PS–We’ve also really enjoyed this devotional / character book about 15 heroes of the Christian faith: Our New Favorite Resource for Family Devotionals.

Who are your favorite inspirational models?

Read the entire series:

• Confessions of a Recovering Scolder
• 5 Effective Alternatives to Scolding: #1 Charming Quotes & Playful Vocabulary
• 5 Effective Alternatives to Scolding: #2 Inspirational Models
• 5 Effective Alternatives to Scolding: #3 Training

Photo credit: beaver